So I decided to write a little bit more about my season and about me, so you would understand the situation a bit more.
After last year’s good season I decided to have an easier season, just to stay on the ice, to stay in touch in competing and enjoy what I accomplished already just for a while.I decided to keep my old programs, not to spend time on making new ones, cuz I had other plans. At the age of 28 my body and my head were telling me I need to take it easier to survive another 2 hard working years and that’s what I did. At the end it wasn’t hard for me to train hard – physically, but it was so much easier in my head, I didn’t stress, I was doing other things besides training as well and most of the time I really felt good. And I think that’s why my beginning of the season was so so good.
When I started to work on my programs in the beginning of the season, I put on my FP music. I chose this music for a reason, it has a deeper meaning, cuz I knew my career is slowly coming to an end and with guts to do my own programs for the first time, I just ‘’wanted to leave my footprints’’. The music itself took me back to Japan at the World Championships and at that moment I cried in the middle of the ice and for the first time on the training, those were happy tears. I got all those nice feelings back, I remembered how far I’ve come and I was just so proud of myself.
So as I was saying, I wanted an easier season, cuz this season was not important at all, I didn’t need to prove anything to anyone, I just wanted to stay here to have good possibilities to get the spot for the Olympics in the next season. So I started to coach and in the process I learned so much that helped me improve as a skater even more. I started to think differently, I started to work more, firstly to be as good role model as I can be, and secondly cuz I wanted to try everything that I made them do, so I know how they will feel while doing it. And with that my season went better than I expected.
With all of that, we decided that Anej can get better in his job as well and that’s why he was away a lot – with other athletes as a strength and conditioning coach. I was working a lot and I pushed myself on the training really much, because the preparations for the Europeans had just started. And – of course, why not – in the meantime I got injured at the end of December. While I was dealing with my injury I started to plan the rest of my season and I thought that I just need to ‘’survive’’ the Europeans, knowing I won’t be as ready as I wanted to be and then I have enough time to get ready for the Worlds. I don’t need to compete a lot, because with all the experience I have I know that if I train well I can do it in a competition as well… And well, I didn’t need to collect the minimum required scores to qualify for the Worlds cuz I already had them, right? …WRONG.
I remember the day like it was yesterday. I took a day off, because I had hard physiotherapy in the morning and I needed to give some healing time to my muscles and of course I was sad and disappointed, but was coping with it… And then I got an email from my federation that they raised the minimums for Worlds. Well, no big deal, they’ve done it before.. I thought at first, cuz I knew I had some ‘’spare’’ points in the short and in the free. I got to open the document and I realised they did exactly what they shouldn’t have done. 1 point in the short (30) and 2 points in the free (51). In my memory I didn’t know exactly how much I got on every competition, so I still hoped for the best. I go and check my best TES on the isuresults page… 32, 80 and 50,88. Well I don’t like that, but not all competition counts for the personal bests, so I still have some hope I got it in some other international competitions. I checked all of the competitions and of course I was left without them. At that point I was just down, sitting in my bed with an injured leg got to know that all of my plans for the rest of the season have changed.
I said that I’m not gonna think about that until Europeans (except entering every competition possible, because some of the deadlines were over already – thanks for accepting me later btw.
) and after that I will see what I can do.
So Europeans went by, my FP was not the best, but I was already happy with qualifying to the finals, because I wasn’t expecting much, being injured before that. I had a bit of bad luck, got a cramp in my back in the middle of the free program and I couldn’t do any jumps later. I couldn’t believe my bad luck and I was close to getting the points, but no big deal, it’s just the first competition.
A week later I went to Ljubljana – Dragon Trophy competition. I was so tired, I didn’t take 2 days off after Europeans like I usually do, because I had another goal to accomplish and I couldn’t waste any time. My FP was not the best, a lot of little mistakes, two footed landings, a fall and one popped jump and the TES (technical element scores)… 50,77. Oh dear, what now? I’m exhausted and I did my best, I was so close, but it wasn’t enough – am I even able to do better?
OK, I get back home, take a day off – not two, just a day cuz in less than 2 weeks I have another competition. I started to feel how ready I am. My trainings were good, I did so many good programs, I was confident I could make it this time. I did a really nice program without any mistakes like 5 days before the competition, I felt good, my jumps were on place, I knew exactly what I needed to do… Yeah for sure, on a training, what about the competition? No, it is not gonna go that easy. The program wasn’t bad, no 2 footed jumps, nice landings, great feeling on the ice but at the end when I needed that last 3T, I popped it – so I lost 4,51 points (jump being in the second half and because I already had 2x 2T in my program, it went completely out). TES – 48,70. I lost it by my favorite jump. I was so upset, cuz I had them and I lost it in a heartbeat with that mistake. I have to go back, train and go to another competition, AGAIN.
So I took a day off, not two like I would normally do and even that one day was a travel day. I did an easier training on monday, I did 6min warm up and full FP on tuesday, which wasn’t good by the way, but what else can you expect 2 days after a hard competition full of emotions. Wednesday was better and on Thursday I already went on a trip to den Haag. So I had like zero time to prepare again, but I tried my best. So my program was not bad – AGAIN, but had a nasty fall from my first 2A and then I screwed up the second one too and it was all done. TES – 47,82
And you have to know that in that month after Europeans I didn’t put a SP music on a training not even once. I couldn’t waste my energy and time skating SP. But when you go to a competition, first you have to do a SP and then FP of course and that was really hard too. But what can I say, I really tried my best and in the season of flu where everyone around me was ill, I pushed through and didn’t let myself stay in bed and get ill. That’s what adrenaline and a strong will can do, I guess. A day after the last competition my throat was killing me and my voice was gone – so you have to know I was on thin ice for at least 2 weeks.
In the end I don’t regret anything. I really tried my best and that’s all I can expect from me. I’m not a loser, I stand tall with my head held high. I guess it was just not meant to be.
Thank you so much for all of your support. I feel so emotional even thinking about it. I’m really grateful for everything that I’m going through because of you.
LOVE, Daša